When business and pleasure combine at the annual holiday office party, how should bosses and workers interact?

"You should be relaxed and casual, but you have to watch yourself," advises Joel Whalen, a DePaul University associate professor of marketing who is an expert and author on persuasive business communication.

"Office parties can cause some people to feel stress and anxiety," Whalen said. "People aren't sure how to act when some of the formal relationships break down." But the parties also offer opportunities for bosses and workers to communicate important messages, Whalen adds.

How do you make your holiday office party more relaxing and rewarding? Whalen has this advice:

LIMIT THE EGGNOG "Although all the signals are there that this is a party, it's important to remember that it's a business party," Whalen said. "Anxiety about the party can trigger a chemical reaction in the brain that makes you more susceptible to the effects of alcohol. If you have alcohol, make sure to sip it slowly."

'TIS THE SEASON TO GET TO KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS. "Treat the business party as an opportunity to get to know co-workers in depth in a way you can't when you are putting out fires and pushing through projects," Whalen said. Help shy people enter the conversation, Whalen suggests. "If you're the boss, ask workers about their interests and discuss what you have in common. It's an excellent way to expand relationships and to build trust and credibility."

PLAN YOUR CHAT WITH THE BOSS. Feel tongue-tied when you run into a high-level manager you don't usually have access to at the buffet table? Whalen suggests you plan what you'll say before the party. "Don't talk about yourself. Instead, focus on the accomplishments of the group which reflect on you," he said. "Keep the conversation positive--a holiday party is not the time to discuss complaints, pitches for new jobs or problems."

BOSSES: OFFER GOODWILL AND THANK-YOUS. The holiday party offers managers an excellent opportunity to build morale. "The boss should think about expressing three messages at the party," Whalen said. "He or she should thank everyone for their good work, reflect on the successes of the past year and express thoughts on the future." Bosses should remember to thank the people who organized the party as well as their superiors, Whalen added.

TIPS FOR BUSINESS GIFT GIVING

Finding the perfect holiday present for a spouse or child may be easy, but what do you give your clients? Whalen has these tips for business gift-giving:

CHECK COMPANY GIFT POLICIES. "Some companies forbid employees from accepting gifts over 10 or 20 dollars, so check what the policies are for your client's company," Whalen said. "If you exceed the limit, your well-meaning gift may cause problems for the employee."

DON'T BE TOO EXTRAVAGANT. "There's a reciprocal urge involved with gift giving," Whalen said. "If you buy an expensive gift, the recipient may feel pressured to respond in kind."

GIVE THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. "If you want to give a gift that builds relationships, consider a gift that keeps arriving, like a magazine subscription, or flowers or fruit that arrive each month," Whalen suggests. "It keeps your name and positive feelings about the business relationship in front of them all year."

Reporter's note: Whalen can be reached for interviews at DePaul at (312) 362-8502.